Today may have been the worst day of school I've had since it began. Psychology--I was incredibly tired. I picked up my cell phone and saw I had a new voice message from my mom. I listened to it. Something something something, call me back, she says. So I think, "Hmm, maybe I can call her between Psych and Calc. Or maybe it'd be better to during lunch." Then my day goes on, I forget about the whole voice message because I'm too worried about what I'm going to do for Enviro Club and Chinese Club. That whole mess occurs, and I manage to not really think too much of it til later. Bio people get annoying when we're doing the lab. Then my parents get mad because I didn't call them back. Bah. It probably sounds like nothing big, but they have a way of making mountains of molehills. I wish they would just show me some support.
And now Scary Stephanie is badmouthing me on the Enviro Club website.
10:23 PM
I swear nothing I do will ever be good enough for my parents.
6:54 PM
My dad doesn't want me to go to Key Club stuff anymore because he says I don't have enough time. I think I can work it so that I'll still be able to though. It's all messed up.
4:05 PM
Monday, September 15
Eating cereal at 11:30 is the "hip" thing to do. Is it just me or is there never a wrong time to eat cereal?
11:29 PM
Love is misery. It is a heart-wrenching joy that accompanies each fertive glance stolen at a beautiful, innocent face; it is the melodic laughter that is loved so coupled with the dischord of the unsaid words proclaiming such love; the hunger when you've given up your lunch for that someone to eat when they forgot theirs at home, when you have to insist that it's okay loud enough over the thunderous protests of your stomach; the special attention paid to how you dress on days you know you'll cross paths; each day after day when the most prevalent thoughts in your mind are whether that someone will notice you today, see the light and adore you too; it is accepting your fate, locking your heart away knowing that she'll be happy in the arms of someone else.
This isn't necessarily me, it isn't necessarily love, but it happens and it sure feels that way. And that is the heck Gordon's talking about.
